The Power of Saying No: Why You Shouldn't Say Yes to Every Opportunity

We just wrapped up an unforgettable 4th of July holiday, and I couldn't help but reflect on how different this year was for me and my family. In the past, I would spend weeks, if not months, meticulously planning every detail of the holiday - from the guest list to the amount of food needed to satisfy everyone's appetites. The pressure of ensuring I had enough fireworks for the kids and the constant worry about the financial strain it would put on me added to the mounting stress.

Driving to crowded destinations, surrounded by unfamiliar faces and struggling to find parking, only heightened my anxiety. And sometimes, being around people who didn't quite share my perspective made me feel like I was on a completely different level, out of sync with the rest of the world.

But this year, everything changed. I made a conscious decision to let go of the unnecessary stress and focus on what truly mattered - my family and our well-being. Instead of obsessing over extravagant plans, we embraced simplicity and opted for a day of rest and quality time together. We planned our meals last minute, choosing only the dishes we genuinely wanted to prepare with love and care.

When it came to fireworks, we found joy in selecting just the right size for the kids, not feeling the pressure to go overboard. Throughout the day, we reveled in each other's company, cherishing the moments of laughter and connection. And as the sun set, we gathered on our balcony, marveling at the mesmerizing display of local fireworks.

The version of myself from a few years ago wouldn't have even considered making space for what I prioritize now. But as I grow older, I've come to realize that our summers, and our time in general, are limited. In the past, I would work tirelessly or be glued to my phone, constantly responding to messages. However, I've started questioning whether these tasks truly align with the greater purpose I have for my work and my life. I've discovered that I am more productive and fulfilled when I allow myself to rest and engage in activities that bring me joy. Ending the day on a positive note allows me to approach my work with renewed energy and focus.

This leads me to the topic I want to discuss today. For those who feel like they are constantly working their lives away, take a moment to reflect on the work you've done in previous summers. How much of that work could you have said no to without negatively impacting your current lifestyle? In other words, is there a percentage of tasks and commitments that you could have declined without any significant consequences? Personally, I estimate that at least 20% of my past work fell into this category. Many of these were calls that I felt obligated to take, even though they could have been rescheduled to better serve my family and myself.

I am now learning the importance of not being controlled by other people's agendas. One way I demonstrate this is through email. While many people immediately check their inbox in the morning and throughout the day, I have shifted to checking it only a few times a week or, at most, once a day. I prioritize my own time and well-being, understanding that my life, joy, and the peace my family needs from me take precedence over someone else's agenda. If a matter is truly important, the person will find a way to reach me. By adopting this mindset, I have come to realize that 99% of the emails I receive belong to other people and their agendas, which may not align with my own.

Now, if this concept triggers you, you may have some questions and concerns. What if you miss out on an opportunity? What will people think of you? The fear of missing out on opportunities is a major stumbling block for many individuals, causing them to become "Yes" people. However, if you can internalize this one crucial piece of information, it will serve you well: There will always be an abundance of opportunities available to you at any given time. You do not need to say yes to every opportunity that comes your way simply because you fear that declining one will close the door to future opportunities. Opportunities will continue to present themselves, especially if you are proactive and driven. People will flood you with opportunities, and it's your responsibility to choose wisely and say yes only to those that align with your own agenda. When you focus on your own goals, the opportunities will grow exponentially, as you will be operating from a place of clarity and purpose. By trying to fit every opportunity into your life, you dilute your message and limit your potential for success. 

On the flip side, it is crucial to continue reaching out to others in a way that benefits you and your goals. This will also help others understand that your lack of immediate response is not personal. The person you're trying to contact may be overwhelmed with similar requests, and it's important not to take it personally. Instead, be persistent and find alternative ways to capture their attention. If you can add value to the person, they are more likely to respond.

There are various ways to respectfully decline requests and it’s important to accept that you might disappoint others as well, whether it’s from family or in your inbox. However, I’ve learned that if saying yes leads to resentment, it’s crucial to figure out what you need to make the yes feel good for you and create a win-win situation. Otherwise, it may be necessary to say no and accept that it might upset others, because the resentment that arises from saying yes is far worse than the guilt of saying no. While the guilt may be unpleasant, the resentment can be much more damaging.  

I’ve discovered how to say no in a loving manner, offering encouragement and even suggesting someone who may be a better fit for the request. It’s important to communicate that I am protecting my energy and my family. When you say yes to everything, you end up saying no to your own big vision and neglecting your family. It’s important to avoid resentment when saying yes to others. You can say no to a life filled with constant yeses. 

Those who truly love you will understand why you're saying no. They will continue to support you and be unattached to your decision. They will respect you and your boundaries. 

A true test of your ability to create the life and relationships you desire is how you handle rejection and when people say no to you. Are you okay with it? This is a practice that can lead to a turning point. Let go of the stories you build around rejection and no longer feel the need to know the reasons behind them. When you fully accept and embrace these rejections, everything will start to open up for you. It’s not solely about saying no yourself, but also accepting the no’s from others and understanding and appreciating the beautiful boundaries they are protecting. 

I hope you loved today’s blog. I hope it stretched you, challenged you and grew you in some way. If so, would you stop right now and share this with someone else who may need to read these words. It would also bless me big if you take 30 seconds to leave me a review. Lastly, go sign up for the newsletter where every week brings you insight into creating the home of your dreams to finding balance between family and business. It’s designed as a one stop shop for moms on their journey towards success getting them closer to achieving their goals with God in the center of it all. I pray this blesses you. If you're feeling like you're losing grip on your goals and intentions at any time throughout the year, remember that you don't have to go it alone. Join me for daily text messages filled with inspiration, journal prompts, and goal-setting guidance. Let's support each other and maintain our momentum for the rest of the year together. Text MOTIVATION to 325-308-8482 to join!

Thank you again for being a part of this community. I appreciate your presence and look forward to continuing this journey together.